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Jan 18, 2012

Eclipse Hunter v2Extra

Translator: Mochipanda
Proofreader: Wryn, Noobzilla

It was Sunday morning. Daren happily packed his bag for the day’s activities. He had decided to go watch Ezart compete in the arena, and then have supper with him.

“Gege, Ezart and I are going to hang out today. Oh, and Xiao Ai1 too.”

“Who’s Xiao Ai?” Devon's initial smile turned into a frown upon hearing the unfamiliar name. Before Dar could reply, Devon suddenly recalled that Dar had a friend named Ai-something and wondered if Dar was talking about her.

“Xiao Ai is my girlfriend!” came Daren’s candid reply.

Devon was momentarily stunned by the declaration.

“Dar, let’s go!” Ezart’s loud, impatient voice sounded from outside.

“Coming!” Daren quickly replied. He turned and hugged the petrified Devon, saying, “Gege, I’m leaving now.” He then went over to hug Theodore, who was seated on the sofa and said, “I’m leaving, Papa Avery!”

Theodore’s still had his face buried in his newspaper and only mumbled a disinterested goodbye in reply.

“DAR!” Ezart’s voice growing more and more impatient.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Daren hastily picked up his bag and rushed out the door leaving only Devon and Theodore in the living room.

Theodore was in a semi-comatose state due to extremely low blood pressure secondary to waking too early while the former sat petrified by his brother’s declaration that he had a girlfriend.

Devon remained that way for a full half hour before stuttering, “Th-Theodore...”

“Hrm? Bye, Dar...” Theodore replied reflexively, still drowsy from sleep deprivation.

Devon seized Theodore’s shoulder and shook him violently, while shrieking, “Since when were Dar and Ai-whatever going out?! He’s only sixteen for crying out loud! How could he be in a relationship at sixteen?! I forbid it.”

Abruptly shaken from his daze, Theodore didn’t know what was going on. “What? What? An earthquake? Dar, protect... me....” Except it was not Dar before him, but the furious face of the Solaris Emperor. Oh! Why was it Devon and not an earthquake... Theodore secretly wished for a 10.0 magnitude earthquake instead of this.

***

"Eloise is Dar's girlfriend?"

Theodore frowned as he shook his head. "Impossible, Dar's really scared of her."

“But he said Xiao Ai was his girlfriend!” Devon emphasized loudly.

Theodore pushed up his glasses, “Even if Eloise really is his girlfriend, in this day and age, it’s about time anyway. If Dar has a girlfriend, wouldn’t he be more like a normal teenager?”

“Excuse me?!”

Devon sat elegantly with his legs crossed on a black chair, his chin resting on one hand while the other lay on his knee, giving off the air of an arrogant lord. The only peculiarity was the shiny BHP09 in his hand, pointed at the only other person in the room.

“Er, nothing. I was saying that I’ll go call Elian about this now!”

Theodore quickly walked over to the telephone and dialed Elian’s number. The phone continued to ring for quite awhile before Elian's upper body appeared on the screen. He looked harried, his hair wet and plastered to his forehead with rivulets of water dripping everywhere. It seemed as though he had just showered; or rather, he had been showering, when he heard the phone ring and came running out to answer it..

Seeing Theodore’s face, he gaped momentarily before awkwardly saying, “Eh, erm... Mr. Avery! Please give me a few seconds...” Sounds of scurrying footsteps emanated from the phone and then Elian’s face appeared once again. This time, his hair was half dry and he had put on some clothes. “What can I do for you?” Elian asked carefully.

Pushing up his glasses, Theodore replied, “The Solaris Emperor would like to know if Dar and Eloise are going out.”

“Wha?” Elian started, but quickly shook his head in response,“How is that possible? Dar is really scared of her!

So that part was true. Theodore nodded.

Devon furiously pushed him aside, picked up the receiver, and asked darkly, “Then who is Dar’s girlfriend?”

Suddenly seeing Devon appear on-screen gave Elian another shock and he quickly shook his head, saying, “Dar has a girlfriend? I’m completely unaware of it!”

“You’d better not lie to me.” Devon hissed icily.

“I-I seriously don’t know!” Elian stuttered. “I’ve been working on my investigation recently and I haven’t seen Dar for days...” He looked as though he was on the verge of tears.

Devon narrowed his eyes menacingly as if he hadn’t believed a single word Elian said.

“Theodore! Dial Eloise for me now.” he ordered. The screen split into two, one with Elian waiting anxiously, and the other awaiting Eloise’s answer.

“Hello?” Eloise’s weary face appeared on the screen. But the moment she laid eyes on Theodore and Devon, her face immediately lit up and her hands flew to her heart with an expression that said “I can’t take it anymore”.

“Whoaaa! Two super hot guys~~ Oh! Am I still dreaming?” she shrieked.

Theodore gestured at the hungry eyes of the girl on the screen, “Could this be Dar’s girlfriend?”

Devon’s mouth twitched, “...Hang up.”

Theodore had already reached a similar conclusion and terminated the call.

Elian relaxed. Thank the heavens she didn’t make Devon mad.

“Solaris emperor, please don’t worry, if Dar really does have a girlfriend, he would tell you right away...” He sought to appease the Solaris Emperor.

“He already did! He said his girlfriends was ‘Xiao Ai’!” Devon gestered toward Elian’s picture on the screen, “HANG UP!”

Theodore did so again.

Devon sat on his office chair, an ugly expression on his face as he drummed his fingers rhythmically on the armrest.

“Why don’t you just ask Dar?” Theodore could not stand the oppressive silence, like the calm before Armageddon, and quickly suggested this. He felt that this so called girlfriend of Dar’s did not even exist. Considering Dar’s child-like ways, he probably didn’t even know what girlfriends were for!

Devon also thought that this was a good idea. Asking Dar directly was a lot faster...... But what if Dar thought that he was too nosy? What if Dar got mad at him and asked him to mind his own business? What would he do then?

The thought sent Devon spiraling into anguish, “Ahhh! Please Dar, don’t hate your gege~!”

“......”

A bead of cold sweat dripped from Theodore, he replied haplessly, “Fine, I’ll ask him”

“Why didn’t you say so earlier?” Daren barked impatiently, “What are you waiting for? Call him!”

“Yes, yes!” Theodore dialed Dar’s number obediently.

The screen shifted into the “Waiting” mode, and soon Dar’s smiling face appeared on it. “Papa Avery!” He yelled happily.

Theodore was just about to confront him about the issue when Devon ran up and shoved him aside.

“Dar!” Even though Devon was furious, when he saw Dar’s brilliant smile, he couldn’t help but smile back. He warmly asked, “What are you doing? What’s making you so happy?”

“Gege!” Dar’s dazzling smile was as bright as the sun. He announced in a pure and innocent voice, “I’m getting married right now!”

Getting married? Devon instantly became petrified.

“Aiyah! I’ll talk to you later, gege, I have to call Elian-ge!”

Daren hung up, leaving Theodore and Devon staring at a black screen. Theodore remained silent, a thousand misgivings in his heart about looking at Devon. He did not want to catch an accidental glimpse at the reincarnation of an Asura or something that would keep him sleepless for many nights to come.

“Elian... Xiao Ai! Dar was talking about Elian!” Devon remained petrified for a while longer until he suddenly leapt up and bellowed “That little brat dared to trick me! He is the Xiao Ai Dar mentioned! There’s no mistake! Elian, you actually lured my cute little Dar into marrying you!?! I will get you for this!” Devon dashed to the phone and was about to give orders to his subordinates when Theodore intervened.

“Wait! Wait a second!” He swiftly blocked Devon’s way to the telephone. There must have been a misunderstanding; how was it possible for Dar and Elian to get married without their family?

Devon’s eyes burned like the scorching flames of hell, and his voice was as cold as ice as he snarled, “Get out of my way.”

“Yes sir!” Theodore gave up in a flash and ducked out of the way.

Theodore sighed internally. Oh Elian... It’s not that I don’t want to help you, but you know whenever the Solaris Emperor gets involved with matters regarding Dar, his mind twists itself into a thousand knots, his humanity deserts him, and he becomes trigger happy... At this moment, I can only hope you’ve prayed and burned enough incense, because only God can protect you now... But if you don’t usually burn incense, that’s okay too. I will fully utilise your corpse, from the hair on your head to the nails on your toes for my experiments... Theodore could not suppress a tiny smile as he adjusted the glasses perched on his nose.

Meanwhile, the unsuspecting Elian shuddered as a chill ran down his spine... I must’ve caught a cold from rushing out of the shower earlier.

Devon dialed a series of numbers and ordered in a detached tone, “Stealth unit, seize Elian and bring him to me now!”

It was not long before Elian was kneeling on the ground on the ground before him, tightly bound with ropes with the roots of his hair still wet.

Devon pressed his BHP09 to Elian’s forehead and snapped, “Tell me! What kind of loathsome, vile method did you use to abduct Dar?!”

“Abduct Dar?”

Elian was at a loss. When had he ever abducted Dar, and how did this get blamed on him? Why didn’t they suspect Ezart? He was clearly Dar’s favourite...

“So you won’t talk.” Devon gave a humorless laugh and gave an order to his subordinates, “Bring the torture instruments!”

“Wait! Wait a second!” Elian was alarmed. He hastily begged for help from the bystander, “Mr. Avery! Please save me!”

Theodore adjusted the small spectacles perched on his nose as he sat on the couch and sighed to himself. I can’t even ensure my own safety; how could I save you? You better just die peacefully and leave me your corpse for scientific uses...

Devon was picking out his instruments and decided to start with the relatively easy removal of nails. He picked up the pliers, and slowly walked toward Elian with a beatific smile.

At the sight of them, Elian’s face turned a sickly pale and he yelled in panic, “Help! Dar, Dar, where are you?”

As if on cue, the sound of the automatic door emitted from the front of the house.

Theodore looked up as Dar came into the room, closely followed by Ezart. He sighed unconsciously. A superior specimen that was so hard to come by had just slipped away...

“Gege!” Daren gawked at the situation in the room and asked, “What’s going on...?”

“Dar!” Elian yelled as if the saviour was here to deliver the world and sobbed pitifully, ”Please help me! Your brother wants to torture me!”

Daren reflexively moved to shield Elian and asked pitifully, “Gege! What are you doing to Elian-ge? Why did you tie him up?”

Seeing Daren’s sad expression, Devon became flustered, “I... I was just...”

“He just didn’t want you to marry Elian,” Theodore calmly explained.

“HAHAHA! Marriage? Dar and Elian? HAHAHA!” Ezart doubled over with laughter, cluching his abdomen.

“When did I ever say that I was going to marry Elian-ge?” Daren asked flabbergasted.

“But...” Devon was really confused. “You just told me on the phone that you were getting married,
and you were going to call Elian to go, so isn’t it him you were going to marry?”

Daren shook his head and explained, “No, gege, you need two people to witness your marriage, but there was only Ezart there, so I wanted to call Elian-ge to be the second witness.”

“Then... You really did get married?” Devon’s voice had a strangled edge to it.

“Yeah!” Daren exclaimed excitedly. “I married Xiao Ai!”

Chaos descended in Devon’s mind and he yelled, “But, but Xiao Ai, isn’t Xiao Ai Elian? He was here the whole time so how could you marry him? Unless Xiao Ai is Eloise...?”

He collapsed against the sofa and broke out in spasms of laughter, almost choking from all the laughter. “Hahahaha, Xiao Ai... Xiao Ai is Elian... Haha... This is too hilarious!”

“No! Gege, Xiao Ai isn’t Elian or Eloise!”

Daren rummaged briefly in his bag and pulled out a pink, heart shaped game console. He then loudly announced, “This is my Xiao Ai!”

“What is that?” Devon blankly stared at the heart-shaped device in Daren’s hand.

Ezart, who had rolled onto one side with laughter, suddenly sat upright and said seriously, “A dating simulation, nicknamed ‘Xiao Ai,’ the newest 8.0 version with a function called ‘Marriage.’ The rules are pretty strict; it requires two witnesses to play along before one can get married... Hahaha!”

Upon saying that, he once again burst into laughter, so much that he flopped onto his side on the sofa.

Theodore pushed up his glasses, picked up his newspaper, and buried his face in it. However, the newspaper in his hands trembled along with his shoulders as he intermittently emitted unusual noises that distinctly sounded like a “Ha~... pfft~...”

At that moment, Elian, who was feeling faint from being tied up for so long, murmured, “That’s right... The first time I met Dar, he told me that the dating sim was his girlfriend...”

Devon’s head was in system failure mode for a few minutes, before gradually restarting. He grabbed Daren’s shoulders fervently and asked, “So you didn’t get married?”

“I did!” Daren chuckled and said, “I couldn’t find Elian to be my witness, so Ezart got his boss to be my witness and I was able to marry Xiao Ai.”

Devon eagerly pressed on. “So you don’t have a girlfriend either?”

“Xiao Ai is my girlfriend!” Daren tilted his head. Why is gege acting so strange today? Why does it feel like he doesn’t understand what I’m talking about?

Devon was moved. Great! Dar is still the pure and innocent Dar I’ve always known. He almost wanted to smother the dating sim with kisses.

“But... I already married Xiao Ai, so there’s nothing more to do...”

Daren stared at the device in his hand, and grumbled, “The toystore owner told me that 9.0 was coming out soon, and that you could have children, but I don’t know when that would be released.”

Seeing that his didi was unhappy, Devon proclaimed at once, “I’ll buy that company now and make them release 9.0 immediately!”

“Really?” Daren’s eyes shone happily. “Gege is the best!”

Hehehe, didi said that I am the best... Devon smiled giddily. “Dar, you like gege the best, right?”

Daren tilted his head and nodded vigourously, “Of course! Dar likes gege the best!”

He is so adorable! Devon hugged Daren tightly, “Dar, I like you the best too!”

***

Theodore, who was watching from the sidelines, snorted. “Normally, if someone heard that his didi’s girlfriend was a device, he would be worried!”

“Hahaha!” Ezart nudged Theodore and snickered, “Hey, when 9.0 comes out, you’ll be a grandfather!”

“......”

Meanwhile, Elian silently lamented, Will someone untie me please? Urgh... What did I do to deserve this?....


******************* Eclipse Hunter Volume 2 Extra END *******************

1小愛 (Xiao Ai): Xiao literally means “little”. Can be attached to names as a form of endearment. The “Ai” in Xiao Ai, sounds the same as the “Ai” in Eloise and Elian, although it is written differently.

10 comments:

  1. hahaha laughed so hard on this one, Thanks for the translations!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Why didn't you say so earlier?" Daren barked impatiently
    It is suppose to be Devon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pure awesomeness... Thank you so much for the hard work!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't untie Elian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pffffft__________

    ReplyDelete
  5. hahahahhahaha I almost died from laughing
    Yu Wo's works are the best
    hahahahahaha I can't get over it

    ReplyDelete
  6. really impressive and morbid humor, Yu Wo is extremely talented.

    ReplyDelete
  7. haha... Its funny. I really like Yu Wo's sense of humor. Poor Elian to face the reality of brothers, one is super innocent and another is a dense brother complex that his didi's happiness is his first priority

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hilarious brother complex!!!
    One comment though, there is a line that says- "He collapsed against the sofa..." It should really be more specific and say "Ezart collapsed against the sofa."

    I just say that because "He" is very misleading. Devon was the person referred to in the lines before that, so having "He" makes it seem like Devon is laughing.
    "He" could even refer to Dar, Elian, or Dr. Avery if the reader wasn't paying enough attention.

    ReplyDelete

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